time...

I have been thinking a lot about time lately. As any mother can attest time is the most precious commodity we have. Maybe it is the recent witness of someone I dearly love running out of time too soon that has arrested my attention. That makes me realise the importance of how one spends time, as once spent it is truly gone. Of how easy it is to waste energy on unimportant upsets, missing the little joys, or the opportunities for growth. Of how the little things, the little moments strung together like pearls, makes up the quality of ones life, IS ones life. Of how our experience of time changes over time. The more layers to our life, the less time we seem to have. 
 Remember how time Before Children (BC) seemed open and elastic? What a luxury time BC was. If only we had known how precious delving into a book fireside for the better part of a winter afternoon was, wouldn't we have done more of it?. Now time practically contracts, shrinks, all but disappears, and the endless list of things "to do" always seem to supersede the things we'd rather do. And it is those very things that are likely the most transformative, important and essential to growth. I personally am struggling with that at the moment, latent dreams and creative impulses are like a blossom closed,no locked in bud ...and what seems to have taken joys place is frustration and grumpiness and a pervasive lack of confidence and malaise.Part of it is greif, naturally, but put is a result of not spending enough time on the things that bring me deep joy, give creative release, and will ultimately answer my burning questions regarding next steps. I fear I am running out of time. No time to waste!
I find myself despairing that I will never blossom, reach my potential, find my place in the world and I feel stuck and struck with fear that it will be said on my deathbed "well at least she always had a clean and tidy house!". What of my Mia Culpa, my life's great work (besides loving and guiding these ever-challenging children to age)..and keeping a tidy and clean house?!
SO, I have been thinking... enough complaining.... what to do? I am always trying to encourage my children to find/ask for the solution rather than complain about the problem, maybe I need to follow my own advice?! And MAKE, not expect to find, that time for me and my creative pursuits to unfurl? Make it a MUST, not a should which is ever guilt-laden and ultimately unmotivating. Make it as important as my early morning exercise which I commit to as a habit because it makes me a better person? As important as good food on the table and a loving embrace not to mention daily coffee?
 SO, I publicaly declare (to whoever is listening, all two of you mmm ever humbled!) I hereby commit to chip away at my dreams for 30 minutes daily. 30 minutes for me. Time to write, paint, or craft. Send out my dreams to the universe and trust providence will move.  I am going to give myself that. I trust there is something waiting out in the world for me, and I am going to claim it. 30 minutes at a time.
Watch this space.

cheered by chairs...

 For those that know me, blue is my colour... my default mood setting elevated by a merry spirit. I can't tell you the delight I experienced when I stumbled across these four blue chairs, genuine bentson, in our local second hand store... they were mine before they left the shop. Even better, knowing they were clearly for me I confidently haggled them downwards, selling two of our own loathsome chairs into the bargain, purchasing the four for a reduced rate, and coming out only slightly out of pocket! That softened the blow to husband who returned from work dragging a grey cloud and looked more than miffed when he went to sit down, only to discover his old sturdy chair had been usurped by a dainty blue one! Blow! Nothing like some cash in hand to sweeten the deal though, being a money man, he could even see the sense in it! And for me, well every time I walk into the room I simply feel cheered up by my chairs! Cheered by chairs... now there's a tag line. Whoever said things can't make you happy doesn't know the thrill of a good score! Okay that is way too many explanation marks, do get how excited I am... Love how the blue is brighter than what I would normally be brave enough for, but just sings and pops out at you, bringing the rest to life, coaxing  out all the other little blue echoes in the room, in my painting for instance and door stops... love love love.
Furthermore, another special layer is that we had some of these in my old house growing up in original wood and were lost to fire many years ago... so sentimental to boot.

my eclectic mix grows...

walnuts for sale!

One of the most delightful days of the holidays was this, our walnut stall. It married together so many of those whimsical dreams of country life, back-yard productivity, team-work and family industy... albeit in an urban setting...Alexander, as he so often is, was the driver in this whole adventure. For many weeks now he has diligently collected the fallen walnuts (with some more-haphazard assistance from his siblings and I) from our old grand tree which graces our bottom garden, then dried and stored and bagged them. Finally a day of good boding arrived and the stall was set up outside our gate on Easter Monday. Such delight when they had their first sale! Much to our astonishment, and thanks to no shortage of neighbourly generosity and good-will,  the little team amassed a  small fortune of $31 for their efforts! It was certainly wonderful encouragement for their budding enterprise. They already have plans of planting a feijoa hedge in order to offer a more varied selection next year. Have to love it!

collecting..

storing...

drying..

the team get "cracking"

chickens!

the miracle of that first egg!

 I still seem to be on catch up mode, and much of what I write is old news by now. I am really struggling to find a window for the trimmings at the moment. Ethan, bless him has seemed to have traded in his nap and that window of peace, productivity, quiet, and sometimes creativity has dissappeared. And though I still insist on a quiet time there is suddenly nothing left over. And he is SO deliciously full of chat, constant chat, so busy, that by days end I have so little left. This too will pass...bless where I am.....I did escape (alone!!) recently though to my bother and Stacey's divine wedding, just magical, just heaven and though I staggered home exhuasted from lack of sleep (go party girl!) I felt so restored and have been so much more myself again, so much more buoyant and peaceful. I will/ must post a small collection of photos soon,  oh such a crafters creation it was, such a community celebration. Loved! See littleknightlights@blogspot.com for more. And I must post some of the wedding tree I painted too which restored my love of painting, and taught me that if it is a must I will get it done, here and there in stolen moments and late nights I can carve out time for the things I love. Not that I don't love being a full-time mother and home maker, you know what I mean don't you, the need for something to call ones own...a creative space if you will..
And, and, and...
Anyway, chickens!
 As some of you may know one of my lifelong ambitions has been to have backyard chickens. There is something about them isn't there, that contented pottering way about them perhaps, or maybe there simple rustic beauty. I just feel happy watching them.  And there is nothing like the miracle of that first egg! I know chickens all over the world lay an egg a day, but when it is your own?! Such excitement! We were all so thrilled!
Here is a little photographic journal of their arrival...

Austin collected Alexander early from school one afternoon and they went and rescued two red 6-month pullets and brought then home in a box, here they are eagerly anicipated

releasing them into their new home

Alexander quickly claimed one as his own and named her Saphira, Evabella called hers Penny. Ethan keeps asking when his own  "speckled one" is arriving

We did experiment with allowing them to completely free range but they persisted to come up on the deck, even coming inside to peck crumbs from under the table despite various methods of chasing squirting them etc., not to mention there little deposits. One day I stood in some in my SLIPPERS that was the straw that broke.....Anyway Austin built them a tractor ala Janet Luke and we move them around in a contained fashion.. good for all!

As an aside, I do a swap morning with my friend Florence of sunshineofmyloves@blsogspot.com looking after  little Lucie-Belle one morning, she taking Ethan another and I don't know who she loves more, me or the chickens! She always says Hannah "cock-a-doodle doo" or Hannah chickens as if we are one and the same package. Lovely!
 I love our little taste of country in the city, that gumboots to glamour mix. That should be a tag line, don't you think? Gumboots to glamour....

Evabella's first day of school

Evabella started school on the 1st of Febuary, bolted in the door and barely glanced back. She is so happy, so confident, so bursting with pride to share her reading homework, so settled in her class,  it is a astonishing, a delight to witness.Long may it last!

walk along Plassey st past our neighbour's chickens...

checking for eels at Plassey bridge

Papa met us there for the send off

tender well wishes from her Papa

Such a serious school girl! Where has our baby gone? It is like she has crossed a threshold. Bless her.

Evabella's 5th birthday

Oh my, our lovely girl is 5! It is such a joy to see her excitement and delight at having reached such a significant milestone. I am so grateful and heartened (if not relieved!) to see her lovely qualities coming to the fore and  her settling into herself in preparation for school.
We celebrated the day with a fairy tea party replete with scones, cream, and jam.

Evabella and Ethan on her birthday quilt, birthday morning

birthday chair

Prayer time, pancake breakfast

she has such effervesence!

Cranberry and Orange, and Wholemeal scones

treasure hunt picture clues

birthday fairies

bubble blowing

fairy castle pinata

boys gang

treasure hunting

tea time

and a chapter ends, it was lovely to have so many of her little Nest friends to celebrate with us, they have been an important part of her journey.

Alexander turns 7! Labour Weekend 2011

 

I see a real shift at seven, as if they are casting their boat off the shore a little, testing the waters of the world. One can just hope all ones love and guidance and effort invested is stored away securely like a squirrels stash of autumn nuts, to be drawn upon when needed. I realise more and more that our children are but borrowed that like Kahil Gibran  said, "(we) are the bows from which  your children as living arrows are sent forth." And that though they seem to need you less over time it is ever important that you are present and available and there when they do seek you out. That is one of my present humble goals as a parent - to give full attention when it is needed. I am guilty so often of just  'being busy" , to what end? I endeavour to have the wisdom to pause when called for,  to take the time to fill the love tanks when they are running low and fit in the "doing" when they are chugging along happily, or include them in it....

Happy birthday Alexander!

It was so lovely to have family to share it with this time, to have good fairy hands to help create a special party, and celebrate the milestone.

P.S. a jumble of photos some of mine, some taken by Stacey and some by Mum, forgive me I can't remember which is which. 

"Play is a child's work"

Stace and cousins

Love love love my new bunting, a combined effort by my good fairy aka Stace and I

I love my big bro

ever grateful for Mum's help in the kitchen

birthday feast - pronounced too healthy! Blame those hippie roots

gift opening, lots of hugging! long may it last amoung boys!

Thomas and Aston (boys of bestie Florence of sunshineofmyloves@blogger.com)

treasure hunt excitement

such laughs from the pinata pirate guarding the treasure

soccer with Dad's too, thanks Dale and Stace for the lovely goals

who knew that Irish dancing footwork would come in such handy?!

brother Dale and Campbell

a divine couple, soon to be married, see crafty prep at littleknightlight@blogger.com